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이 전의 책 뒷면에
강렬한 눈빛으로 시선을 고정하고 있었던
그도...
이제 나이가 든 것일까?
뭔가 알수 없는 집착과 집요함으로
인간을 한계점까지 몰고 가려던 그도
나이가 들었는지
세상을 부드럽게 보려는 것인지...... 색다른 느낌.
치열하진 않지만
그렇다고 지루하진 않았다
Thanks for showing me every detail that you''ve shared with Nathan.
p.22
"Just call me Nathan, Tom."
"I will, Uncle Nat, I promise. From now on, I''ll always address
you as Nathan. In return, I want you to call me Tom. No more Dr. Thumb, all right? It makes me feel uncomfortable."
"But I''ve always called you that. Even when you were a little
boy."
"And I''ve always called you Uncle Nat, haven''t I?"
"Fair enough. I lay down my sword."
"We''ve entered a new era, Nathan. The post-family, post-
student, post-past age of Glass and Wood."
"Post-past?"
"The now. And also the later. But no more dwelling on the
then." [인상깊은구절] p.32 "I''m thirty years old," he told his new boss, "and forty pounds overweight. I haven''t slept with a woman in over a year, and for the past twelve mornings I''ve dreamt about traffic jams in twelve different parts of the city. I could be wrong, but I think I''m ready for a change." p.54-55 "You think I''m joking," I said, "but I''m giving it to you straight. The pearls of my wisdom. A few pointers after a lifetime of toiling in the trenches of experience. Con men and tricksters run the world. Rascals rule. And do you know why?" "Tell me, Master. I''m all ears." "Because they''re hungrier than we are. Because they know what they want. Because they believe in life more than we do." "Speak for yourself, Socrates. If I wasn''t so hungry all the time, I wouldn''t be carrying around this giant gut." "You love life, Tom, but you don''t believe in it. And neither do I." "You''re beginning to lose me." "Think of Jacob and Esau. Remember them?" "Ah. Okay. Now you''re making sense." "It''s an awful story, isn''t it?" "Yes, truly awful. It gave me no end of trouble when I was a kid. I was such a moral, upright little person back then. I never lied, never stole, never cheated, never said a cruel word to anyone. And there''s Esau, a galumphing simpleton just like me. By all rights, Isaac''s blessing should be his. But Jacob tricks him out of it - with his mother''s help, no less." "Even worse, God seems to approve of the arrangement. The dishonest, double-crossing Jacob goes on to become the leader of the Jews, and Esau is left out in the cold, a forgottne man, a worthless nobody." "My mother always taught me to be good. ''God wants you to be good,'' she''d sayto me, and since I was still young enough to believe in God, I believed what she said. Then I came across that story in the Bible, and I didn''t understand a thing. The bad guy wins, and God doesn''t punish him. It didn''t seem right. It still doesn''t seem right." "Of course it does. Jacob had the spark of life in him, and Esau was a dumbbell. Good-hearted, yes, but adumbbell. If you''re going to choose one of them to lead our people, you''ll want the fighter, the one with cunning and wit, the one with the energy to beat the odds and come out on top. You choose the strong and clever over the weak and kind." p. 88 There it was: a full confession. Sherlock Holmes had done it again, and as I marveled at my devastating powers of deduction, I wished there had been two of me so I could have patted myself on the back. I know it sounds arrogant, but how often does one achieve a mental triumph of that magnitude? After listening to her speak just two words, I had nailed the whole bloody thing. If Watsoon had been there, he would have been shaking his head and muttering under his breath. p.171 "I''ve changed my mind." "So we''ve driven all the way up here for nothing." "Not really. Look around you, Tom. We''ve landed in paradise. A couple of days od rest and relaxation, and we''ll go home feeling like new men." Lucy is no more than ten feet from us as we exchange these words, and she hears every syllable we say. When I turn to look at her, she''s blowing kisses to me with both hands -arms extended after each smack of her lips, like a triumphant leading lady on opening night. I''m happy to see her so happy, but I''m also scared. Do I have any idea what I''m getting myself into? Suddenly, I remember a line from a film I saw back in the late seventies. The title eludes me, both the story and characters have passed into oblivion, but the words are still ringing in my head, as if I heard them only yesterday. "Children are a consolation for everything-except having children." |
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역시 폴오스터.. 난 폴 오스터의 소설을 읽으면 언제나 살아갈 힘을 얻는다.
다 각기 다른 내용인것 같지만 사실 폴 오스터의 소설들은 한 가지 주제를 말하고있다.
내가 살고있는 이 인생의 모습이란게 얼마나 깨지기 쉬운것인지.
내가 매일 매일 지키려고 안간힘을 쓰는것들이 내가 정해놓은 틀을 벗어나지 않으려고 안간힘을 쓰는것이.. 얼마나 사소한 것에 의해..
그리고 내가 손쓰지 못하는 불가항력에 의해 무너질 수 있는지..
그러면서도 바닦까지 추락했다가도 늘 주인공은 새로운 인생을 시작한다.
아니.. 내 인생이 여기서 끝인가 했다가도 또 다시 살아갈 이유가, 용기가 생기는것..
늘 폴 오스터의 소설을 읽고난 후 드는 생각은 내가 살고 싶은대로..원하는 대로 살면.. 그게 바로 내가 원하는 인생이란거..
또, 지금 내가하는 고민들..걱정거리들.. 나의 삶을 짓누르는것만 같은것들.. 사실은 별거 아니라는.. 하찮은 것이라는.. 그,런.. 위안도 받는다. |