Introduction xiii
Why We Waited xvi
Yes, The Wait Is (Sort of) About Sex xix
Answer to the Important Questions xxiii
Chapter 1 No Sex? You Can't Be Serious 1
Sex, Waiting, and Relationships 3
The Problem with Sex 5
Why We Chose to Be Celibate 7
What The Wait Isn't 10
Things to Know About Being Celibate 13
Signs from God 19
Does It Really Have to Be Until Marriage? 20
The Blessings of Waiting 21
Wise Waiting 24
Celibacy Versus Abstinence 24
The Energy to Change Everything 26
Delayed Gratification and Marshmallows 28
Being Selective Makes You More Desirable 29
The Wait and … Career 31
Chapter 2 Getting What You Really Want (Hint; It Isn't Sex) 33
Becoming the Best Version of Yourself 34
Before We Dated 39
Wise Waiting 46
How The Wait Improved Our Lives 46
The Wait and … Finances 50
Grabbing Hold of the Life You Want 51
The Wait Reprograms Your Pleasure Software 52
Lip Service 56
It Puts You Back in Control 57
It Pulls the Right People to You 60
Other Key Reasons Why Waiting Is Worth It 62
Know Your Triggers 67
Chapter 3 First Steps Down the Path to Authentic Love 69
Make the Decision 70
Seek Wise Counsel 72
Let God Be Your Matchmaker 72
What If the Other Person Is Waiting First? 75
Give Up the Illusion of "The One" 75
The Wait and … Weight 79
The Stages of Celibacy 80
Know That It Gets Easier 84
Wise Waiting 85
Chapter 4 Lead Me Mot into Temptation, I Can Find It Myself 87
Remembering Why You Started 90
The Lust Prayer 91
The Wait and … Creativity 92
What Temptation Looks Like 93
Taking Care of Business 96
Temptation Avoidance Tips 96
Mind Your Triggers 97
Prepare for Every Contingency 100
Eyes on the Prize 102
Thinking about Sex Less 104
Chapter 5 What Keeps Women from Waiting? 107
Happily Ever After? Not So Much 110
Women's Disciplines 113
For Women, Celibacy Is Control 114
"If I Don't Sleep with Him, I'll Lose Him" 117
How Not to Wait 119
"There Are Only a Few Good Men Out There" 120
Woman Versus Woman 122
Who Is Your Husband? 124
Fear Is a Failure of Faith 128
The Wait and … Friendships 131
Waiting Gives You Back Your Power 131
How Waiting Gets You What You Want 133
Chapter 6 What Keeps Men from Waiting? 137
The List 140
The Cost 142
Men's Disciplines 144
Walking, Talking Sex Drives 145
What Are You Doing with Your Not-Tied-Dawnness? 148
"No" Before Bros 150
Who Is Your Wife? 151
The Wait and … Business 155
Faith and The Waiting Man 155
Attention Is the Currency of True Success 158
Take Inventory 159
Wise Waiting 162
Chapter 7 Can I Date While I Wait? 163
What Do You Deserve? 164
It's Confusing 166
DUI: Dating Under Infatuation 169
Type or Typo? 172
The Jury Is Out 172
You Know Not Because You Ask Not 175
Beware of Your List 178
Dipping Your Toe into the Dating Pool 184
Steady at Your Center 186
Going Deeper 187
Telling Your Date About The Wait 189
Wise Waiting 191
Chapter 8 When Should I Commit? 193
Live as You Before You Live as We 199
If You're Ready, Don't Be Afraid to Move Ahead 200
Breaking the Stalemate 204
Reasons Not to Commit 205
Learning … Every Date, Every Day 208
Should You Live Like You're Married When You're Not? 211
The Friends-and-Family Plan 214
Passion Chemistry 217
Popping the Question 218
Marriage and Beyond 221
The Blessings of Marriage 223
Chapter 9 Don't Give Up 225
The Wait Always Works 227
Beware of Pitfalls 228
Plenty to Do in the Meantime 230
Trust What You Can't See 231
Stay on God's Timetable 232
The Wait and … Self-Esteem 235
Reflect and Review 236
Fine-Tuning 238
Final Thoughts 242
Acknowledgments 245