Do you know which word is searched most often on the Internet? You've got it--SEX. But have you ever visited a sex site on the Web? I imagine you use your computer for personal and business e-mail, and maybe a little fancy word processing and database management. Sex sites on the Web have crossed your mind, but not your computer screen. Guess what? It's time to break the taboo and forge a path to the wealth of valuable sex information in cyberspace. Then you can learn how to apply it to your love, life, and relationships.

I've been working on the Net for more than five years. When I first began publishing as Alice, of the renowned Go Ask Alice! Web site, not many people even knew what the Web was. (Hard to imagine these days, isn't it?) My job was to educate small groups of Ivy League students about the health issues said to concern them: sexual assault, HIV/AIDS, sexually transmitted diseases, and body image concerns. To keep their attention, I had to do just about everything except take off my clothes. After my hundredth or so lecture in the dorms, I realized these nightly group encounters were no longer effective with the MTV generation.

At my wit's end, I turned to my friends in the computer lab and suggested we create something on-line to reach the masses. In 1991, the Internet was for computer nerds, academicians, and engineers. The material available to the general public consisted largely of library holdings and administrative information. We were clearly breaking new ground with the service I proposed--teaching students about sensitive health concerns (and, of course, sex) via the Internet.

Having little computer experience didn't stop me. I learned quickly about the technology and how to convey information through cyberspace in an interesting, honest, and fun way. I answered health questions for three years in the name of Alice--questions as diverse as how long the average guy lasts in bed to how to handle an ingrown toenail. I received thousands of questions, and responded to over 750--most of which were about sex and relationships. It was obvious the world was interested in sex, but had nowhere to turn to get their answers.

The Net was the right place then, even more so now. It offers anonymity--something in-person lectures and workshops don't. It offers a level of honesty that is hard to get from your friends, lovers, or doctors. There is no one on the Net judging you for what you don't know, no one second-guessing whether you're a "normal" player in the sexual arena.

Today I'm answering your sex and relationship questions on-line as Delilah@Thrive.com. To date, I've posted more than 300 Q&As, and the answers are getting richer and more interesting every day. The questions: Am I normal? Am I good in bed? And the answers: If there's a person, place, or thing out there in the world, there's someone who gets turned on by it. And yes, you're normal.

You have a chance to find romance, revive your relationship, and explore fantasies in the relative safety and obscurity of cyberspace. If you haven't spent much time surfing for sex information, you'll be quite surprised at the variety, depth, and breadth of what's available. Shame and embarrassment are removed from the equation--the playing field is level. You get a chance to find out who you are sexually--what you really need and desire--and to bring it back to your real-life relationships in a healthy way.

The Joy of Cybersex explores the art of the possible in terms of sex on the Net. Each chapter contains a wealth of information:

What you can do on-line to enhance your sex life.

Great sites to visit with everything you need to know about how to navigate through them.

Case studies of people who have used the sexual services offered in cyberspace.


Researchers say people who discuss sexuality openly and are comfortable with their bodies are better lovers and life partners. My goal in writing The Joy of Cybersex is to give you the chance to take advantage of what the Internet has to offer, and provide you with the tools for satisfying, lifelong sex.

Please note: Some of the Internet addresses listed in this book are likely to change by the time you read this. This is only natural in the fast-paced world of cyberspace. If you come across an error message while on-line, use your search engine to find the new URL (address) for a site, or sites of a similar nature more recently created.

The author in no way guarantees the nature or the validity of the content on the sites listed. The listings are simply examples of the variety of sites you might find on the Internet, not necessarily the best or most accurate.


From the Trade Paperback edition.