A perfect child:

* Dresses neatly and practises the violin before breakfast

* Comes top of the class and is captain of everything

* Is unfailingly obedient and sweet-tempered

* Is a perfect credit to its perfect mother

A real child:

* Prefers shoelaces undone and mismatched socks

* Shouts 'Bum!' at Granny

* Turns breakfast and bedtime into a battleground

* Is the normal offspring of imperfect parents

With affectionate lack of illusion and a refreshing honesty about her own shortcomings, Libby Purves examines the pleasures and pitfalls of raising children from three to eight years old. Playgroup, starting school, rude words, pets - all these topics are tackled with frank good humour and down-to-earth advice.

Best of all is her reassuring reminder that there is no such thing as a perfect child.