Prelude: The Pilot House xiii
Part 1 Afloat
1. Loveless Marriage 3
2. A Wild and Mischievous Boy 19
3. Printer's Devil 31
4. "Darling Existence" 47
5. "A Ragged and Dirty Bunch" 61
6. "The Most Lovable Scamp" 73
7. "Heaven on the Half Shell" 91
8. "Land of Indolence and Dreams" 105
9. "Grave of a Blood Relation" 119
10. A Branch of Hell 137
11. "My Honored 'Sister'" 153
12. Wedding Present 167
Part 2 Floodtide
13. Church of the Holy Speculators 187
14. Mississippi Steamboat and a Cuckoo Clock 205
15. Chartering a Comet to Mars 223
16. "Invertebrate Without a Country" 239
17. Toast to the Babies 259
18. "Inspired Bugger of a Machine" 275
19. "Hallelujah Jennings" 291
20. Twins of Genius 303
21. "A Sound Heart & a Deformed Conscience" 325
22. Pure Mugwump 343
23. Reparation Due to Every Black Man 363
24. "No Pockets in the Armor" 383
25. "The Deriding of Shams" 399
26. Death and Delusion 413
27. "One of the Vanderbilt Gang" 427
Part 3 Rapids
28. "Paradise of the Rheumatics" 445
29. "A Lady Above Reproach" 461
30. "Boss Machine of the World" 475
31. "Too Much of a Human Being" 489
32. "Paris the Damnable" 509
33. "'Colossal' is a Tame Word for Him" 525
34. "Clown of the Sea" 539
35. "Circumnavigation of this Great Globe" 559
36. "The Only Sad Voyage" 573
37. "A Book Written in Blood & Tears" 587
38. "Letters to Satan" 601
39. "Stirring Times in Austria" 617
40. "The European Edison" 631
41. Dream Self 643
42. "A Hundred Capering Clowns" 657
43. "The Bastard Human Race" 671
Part 4 Whirlpool
44. "The Ancient Mariner" 685
45. The Anti-Doughnut Party 697
46. "The United States of Lyncherdom" 711
47. "Magnificent Panorama of the Mississippi" 727
48. "Spirit of a Steam Engine" 739
49. Divine Healing 753
50. The Dread Cavalcade of Death 767
51. "The War Prayer" 781
52. "An Artist in Morals and Ink" 793
53. "The Swindle of Life" 807
54. Pier 817
55. Angelfish 931
56. A Fan and a Halo 843
57. Wuthering Heights 855
Part 5 Shipwreck
58. Man in the White Clothes 871
59. "A Real American College Boy" 883
60. "Ail the Wonders that are Occurring" 897
61. A Holiday from Life's Woes 909
62. Innocence at Home 925
63. "Mark Twain's Daughter" 935
64. The Death of Tammany 949
65. "An Insane Idea" 961
66. Grandpa Twain 987
67. Letters from the Earth 999
68. "An Old Bird of Paradise" 1009
69. Halley's Comet 1019
Acknowledgments 1035
Abbreviations 1041
Notes 1045
Bibliography 1121
Illustration Credits 1137
Index 1139