Author's Note xi
Introduction: The Paradox of Girls' Success: Why Girls, Why Now l
The Big Picture
How Success and Failure Are Sometimes the Same Thing
Filling the Box
Why Is Filling the Box a Girl Phenomenon?
Pleasing Everyone but Themselves
The Empty Box
1. The Perfect Girl Myth: Why It's So Prevalent and Such a Problem 15
What's Different Now?
Reason 1 Our Changing Academic Landscape
Reason 2 Getting Older Younger
Reason 3 Technology
Reason 4 Differing Views of Healthy
Reason 5 The Ultimate Myth
The Perfect Girl Problem
Leaning Forward, Falling Backward, Getting It Right
2. So Many Ways to Be Boxed In 47
The Overstressed Overachiever
The Socially Centered Starlet
The Pensively Private Thinker
The Caring Considerate Peacemaker
The Dramatic Queen of the Party
The Creative Wonder
The Constant Chameleon
The Worst-Case Scenario Worrier
3. Parental Attitudes and Approach: Part of the Problem or Part of the Solution? 67
Parents: Part of the Problem?
Role Models Are Closer Than They Appear
Separating Your Dreams from Your Child's Reality
Hand-Holding and Helicoptering
Who Else Plays a Valuable Role in Your Daughter's Life?
Parents: Part of the Solution!
Embrace All Possibilities
Focus on Long-Term Efforts Rather Than Short-Term Results
Allow Girls to Become the Creators of Their Own World
4. Breaking Down the Boxes 90
Goals and Purposes
Active Living and Engaged Learning
The Entrepreneur's Model of Success
Taking the B
Redefining Failure
5. Putting Purpose into Organizational Practice 123
Girls Need Organization Too
Binders, Planners, and Other Essentials
Scheduling Homework and Free Time
Putting Organization into Practice
6. Rome Wasn't Built in a Day: Strategies for Quizzes, Tests, Projects, and Finals 151
Previewing Isn't Just for Movie Theaters
The Law of Diminishing Returns
Quizzes and Tests
Long-Term Group Projects
Final Exams
7. Social Wellness: Putting the Fun Back into Fun and Games 173
Reality Show and Cele-bratty Relationships
Virtual Relationships
Female Bullying: Cyberbullying and Otherwise
Distracted Relationships
Real Relationships
8. Emotional Wellness: Compensating and Problem Solving 201
It's All Okay, Except When It Isn't
Learning to Seek Support
The C's of Success
Creating a Core System of Support
9. Physical Wellness 220
Nutrition
Exercise
Sleep
10. Spiritual Wellness: Reflecting and Connecting 249
Editing, Reevaluating, and Letting Go
Hearing, Understanding, and Appreciating the Inner Voice
Reflection of the Outward and Inward Messages
The Overlooked Beauty of Selfless Service
Disconnection from the Everyday
11. Conclusion: Implementing the Strategies 264
Remember the Importance of Attitude
It's Okay to Outsource
Any Day Is a Good Day to Start
Sample Six-Step Strategy
Acknowledgments 271
Notes 273
Index