Contents
프롤로그 ······································7
1장. 참으면 괜찮아질 줄 알았다 ······················11
1. 우리는 상처를 표현하지 못하는가 ·················· 13
2. 좋은 사람 콜플렉스 ······························18
3. 마음이 아파도 관계를 지키려 했다 ················ 22
4. 마음은 참은 것을 기억한다 ·························29
2장. 참은 감정은 우울과 불안이 된다 ···················35
1. 억압된 감정은 사라지지 않는다 ······················ 37
2. 우울은 안으로 향한 분노다 ······················· 43
3. 불안은 눌린 감정의 신호일 수 있다 ················ 50
4. 강박은 억눌린 감정의 또 다른 얼굴이다 ········· 60
3장. 상처를 받았다면 먼저 감정을 느껴라 ·············65
1. 화난 건지 알아차리기 ···························67
2. 서운한 건지 알아차리기 ·························72
3. 수치심인지 알아차리기 ·························76
4. 감정을 느끼는 것부터 시작하라 ······················ 84
4장. 표현했을 때 비로소 사람이 보인다 ················93
1. 표현은 싸우자는 뜻이 아니다 ···················95
2. 공감하는 사람 ······························103
3. 변명하는 사람 ······························ 109
4. 공격하는 사람 ······························113
5. 관계의 진실은 반응 속에 드러난다 ·············· 117
5장. 화해보다 중요한 것은 거리두기 ··················123
1. 모든 관계를 회복할 필요는 없다 ·················· 125
2. 어떤 사람은 가까이 두지 않는 것이 최선이다 129
3. 나를 지키는 것도 인간관계의 기술이다 ······ 136
4. 관계에도 안전거리가 필요하다 ····················141
5. 이제는 그 사람보다 내 삶에 집중하기 ········ 149
에필로그 ··································155