Introduction 1
What We're Doing Now
1. Keeping Them Safe and Sound 11
2. Providing Opportunity 29
3. Being There for Them 43
4. Succumbing to the College Admissions Arms Race 55
5. To What End? 72
Why We Must Stop Overparenting
6. Our Kids Lack Basic Life Skills 77
7. They've Been Psychologically Harmed 87
8. They're Becoming "Study Drug" Addicts 102
9. We're Hurting Their Job Prospects 109
10. Overparenting Stresses Us Out, Too 119
11. The College Admission Process Is Broken 128
Another Way
12. The Case for Another Way 143
13. Give Them Unstructured Time 150
14. Teach Life Skills 162
15. Teach Them How to Think 176
16. Prepare Them for Hard Work 195
17. Let Them Chart Their Own Path 211
18. Normalize Struggle 228
19. Have a Wider Mind-set About Colleges 243
20. Listen to Them 262
Daring to Parent Differently
21. Reclaim Your Self 275
22. Be the Parent You Want to Be 286
Conclusion 302
Appendix A 307
Appendix B 310
Notes 311
Bibliography 329
Acknowledgments 340
Index 343