Foreword xv
1 If the map doesn't agree with the ground, the map is wrong 1
2 We are what we do 6
3 It is difficult to remove by logic an idea not placed there by logic in the first place 12
4 The statute of limitations has expired on most of our childhood traumas 18
5 Any relationship is under the control of the person who cares the least 24
6 Feelings follow behavior 28
7 Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid 36
8 The perfect is the enemy of the good 41
9 Life's two most important questions are "Why?" and "Why not?" The trick is knowing which one to ask 45
10 Our greatest strengths are our greatest weaknesses 50
11 The most secure prisons are those we construct for ourselves 55
12 The problems of the elderly are frequently serious but seldom interesting 61
13 Happiness is the ultimate risk 68
14 True love is the apple of Eden 75
15 Only bad things happen quickly 80
16 Not all who wander are lost 87
17 Unrequited love is painful but not romantic 91
18 There is nothing more pointless, or common, than doing the same things and expecting different results 95
19 We flee from the truth in vain 101
20 It's a poor idea to lie to oneself 107
21 We are all prone to the myth of the perfect stranger 111
22 Love is never lost, not even in death 115
23 Nobody likes to be told what to do 119
24 The major advantage of illness is that it provides relief from responsibility 125
25 We are afraid of the wrong things 129
26 Parents have a limited ability to shape children's behavior, except for the worse 136
27 The only real paradises are those we have lost 144
28 Of all the forms of courage, the ability to laugh is the most profoundly therapeutic 152
29 Mental health requires freedom of choice 158
30 Forgiveness is a form of letting go, but they are not the same thing 162