Introduction ix
Chapter 1 Setting Our Own Aspirations 1
How We Can Become Programmed 1
An Evolutionary Journey 4
Applying the Right Criteria 8
The Impossible Dream 10
Life's Detours 13
Chapter 2 The Importance of New Friends 17
Why Old Friends and Old Habits Tend to Stick Together 17
Breaking Out of the "Good Enough" Trap 19
The Best Relationships Grow with Us 20
Watertight Doors 22
Letting Go to Reach Out 25
Why We Halt the Journey 28
Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons 32
Chapter 3 Behavioral Metamorphosis 35
Making Deliberate Change 35
Ugly Caterpillars and Uglier Butterflies 40
Metabehavior 43
Aspiration-Appropriate Behavior 48
Chapter 4 Believe It or Not 55
Breaking into the Belief Vault 55
Challenging and Evaluating Your Belief System 60
The Creation of Attitudes for Growth 65
Beliefs Manifest in Behavior 68
Chapter 5 The Importance and Evolution of Character 73
Character's Composition 73
Character Test 77
Ethical and Moral Behavior 80
A Slow, Steady March 82
The Meaning of Presence 86
Consistency in Turbulent Times 90
Assuming Formal and Informal Leadership 93
Self-Assessment 98
Chapter 6 Critical Abandonment (Knowing When to Hold and When to Fold) 103
The Dynamics of Keeping and of Changing 103
Adjustments and Accommodations 111
GPS and Roadside Assistance 115
Staying the Course 118
Chapter 7 The New You 123
Overcoming Fear 124
Banishing Guilt 128
Ending Shame 131
Maintaining High Self-Worth 133
Gaining and Sustaining Leverage 134
Chapter 8 Sustaining the Journey 141
Growth through Generosity 141
Evolution through Exploration 146
New Dimensions of Relationships 151
Legacy 155
Chapter 9 Self-Mastery: The Lifestorming Field Guide to Your Successful Journey 161
Testing Yourself 163
Index 185