Author's Note xi
Introduction xiii
Quiz: How Much of a People-Pleaser Are You? xiv
The Disease to Please: Why You Say Yes xv
No: A Learned Skill xvii
Changing Your Thinking xviii
Setting Boundaries xix
Putting No to Work for You xx
1. Stepping into No: The Basics 1
Your Go-To No Responses 3
Buying Time 3
When No Is Crystal Clear 12
2. With Friends 25
Quiz; Are Your Friendships Balanced and Beneficial? 26
Who's a Friend? 27
Friendship Fatigue 32
You're Invited 43
Out and About: Social Graces 52
In the Neighborhood 61
3. All in the Family 71
Quiz: Are You the Yes-Person In Your Family? 72
Parent and In-Law Traps 73
Sibling Strife 92
Those Other Relatives! 101
No, Darling 115
4. With Children-Park Your Guilt 129
Quiz: How Much of a Yes-Parent Are You? 130
"Why Parents Say Yes 131
The Benefits of No-Parenting 132
Training Ground: The Early Years 133
Elementary Rules: Using No with School-Aged Children 143
Patient Parenting: The Teen Years 155
Parenting Is Forever: Adult Children 168
5. At Work 177
Quiz: Are You the Office Yes-Man (Or Woman)? 178
High Performance versus Overload 179
Standing Up for Yourself 189
When You're the Boss 199
Mixing Business with Pleasure 207
Sticky Situations 215
6. Really Difficult People 229
Quiz: How Susceptible Are You to Forceful People? 230
Selling You a Bill of Goods 231
Getting Things Done-Your Way 244
Out-of-the-Blue Challenges 251
7. Your New Mind-Set 259
Finding the Courage 259
Saying Yes to the No Word 260
The No Credo 263
Bowing Out: Your New Mind-Set 264