A note to anyone who's here because they loved Tidy the F * ck Up ix
Introduction xi
Chapter 1 Why You Need this Sh * t Now 1
The right headspace changes everything 2
You'll have more time to reap the benefits 4
Living in peace is better than resting in peace 7
It's not going to get any easier while you keep accumulating crap 9
You're never going to "get around to it" 11
You can't die until you clean out your garage 12
No one has time to deal with your shit 14
Forget dying-moving really sucks 16
Grieving is hard enough 18
Chapter 1 Checklist 20
Chapter 2 Stop Buying into Your Own Bullsh * t 23
Your excuses are trash 24
Which excuse sounds like you? 26
No, you're not going to need it someday 26
Dishes are meant to be used, not displayed 28
You have time to watch bad TV 30
Guilt is for suckers 32
Your sanity is more important than the money you spent 33
There's more than one way to jog a memory 35
That stuff belonged to the old you 36
It's not a damn security blanket 38
There's nothing homey about a house full of junk 41
You're not the only one who thinks it's a pain in the ass 42
Relief beats regret every day of the week 44
"Wasteful" is holding onto shit you don't use 45
Your color-coordinated storage bins are bullshit 47
One man's trash is another unrelated man's treasure 48
You won't miss what you haven't laid eyes on in years 50
You only think you're happy living this way 52
Chapter 2 Checklist 54
Chapter 3 Simplify Your F*cking Life 57
Decide to go all-in on getting your sh * t together 58
Imagine creating a space you can't get enough of 60
A little prep goes a long way 62
Your time is worth more than your Cabbage Patch Kid 65
Be smart about who you choose to ask for help 68
Become a decision-making machine 69
Draw a line in the sand and stick to it 71
Use it or lose it applies to more than high-school French 74
Take a breath-burnout is a bitch 75
Work backward from the stuff you can't live without 76
Practice makes perfectly adequate decluttering skills 78
Memory Lane is a dead-end street 79
Look into each object's future 82
Remember what they say about assuming 84
Rehome the laundry chair 86
Or use the laundry chair to your advantage 87
Clothing 88
Childlike optimism is for children, loving yourself is for adults 88
Be just as realistic about what you need as what you don't 89
You have lived too long to own shitty clothing 90
Ask yourself what it's worth to you 92
Decor 93
You shouldn't need a storage unit for seasonal decor 93
Recognize when you don't even see it anymore 95
Storage areas 96
If you can't fit a car in your garage, you have missed the point 96
Storage units are an expensive cry for help 98
Random crap 100
If it doesn't have a home, its home is in the trash 100
There are no forgotten million-dollar antiques in your attic 102
You shouldn't be able to supply an Office Depot from your home office 103
That cold medicine stopped working five years ago 104
Buying a cookbook and making a recipe are not the same thing 106
How many fucking screwdrivers do you need? 107
Don't even think about having a yard sale 108
When all else fails, bring in the big guns 110
Realize that perfection is a shitty goal 111
Chapter 3 Checklist 113
Chapter 4 Get Your Sh * t Together 117
Get your affairs in order so your kids don't have to 118
Ask for help when you need it-just not from your kids 120
Heirlooms 122
Approach potential inheritors with the same caution as wild animals 122
Your kid probably doesn't want your wedding dress 124
They don't want the antiques either 125
The good dishes are probably headed for the rage room 127
Costume jewelry is for tea parties and drag shows 129
Documents 131
Clean out your damn computer 131
Learn the difference between important and unimportant 132
A pile of papers without labels helps no one 134
Accounts 135
Your money goes more places than you do 135
If you can't remember your passwords, your family's screwed 136
Burn boxes 139
Friends don't let friends' loved ones see their browsing history 139
Some things are only important to you 142
Final arrangements 143
Decision time-who gets the autographed baseball? 143
Your loved ones can't read your fucking mind 145
Give your kids permission to throw it all out 147
Clue in anyone who needs to know where you keep the goods 149
Pass down the stories, not the stuff 151
Realize that your inbox will never be empty 152
Chapter 4 Checklist 154
Chapter 5 Live Your Damn Life (Clutter Free) 157
Take in all that uncluttered glory 158
Revel in those benefits you've been working toward 159
Use some fucking common sense 161
Make better choices 162
Remember why you did all this in the first place 162
Put some mental effort in before you buy sh * t 163
Look for decluttering opportunities-they're everywhere! 165
Light a fire under the asses of reluctant family members 166
Get all the family tea while you can 168
Fill the rest of your life with experiences, not stuff 169
Cut yourself some slack once in a while 171
Live (probably longer) without regret or guilt 171
Chapter 5 Checklist 173