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Introduction: From Push to Pull 1
The Feedback Challenge 1. Three Triggers: That Block Feedback 15 Truth Triggers 2. Separate Appreciation, Coaching, and Evaluation 29 3. First Understand: Shift from "That's Wrong" to "Tell Me More" 46 4. See Your Blind Spots: Discover How You Come Across 77 Relationship Triggers 5. Don't Switchtrack: Disentangle What from Who 102 6. Identify the Relationship System: Take Three Steps Back 123 Identity Triggers 7. Learn How Wiring and Temperament Affect Your Story 147 8. Dismantle Distortions: See Feedback at "Actual Size" 165 9. Cultivate a Growth Identity: Sort Toward Coaching 183 Feedback in Conversation 10. How Good Do I Have To Be?: Draw Boundaries When Enough Is Enough 209 11. Navigate the Conversation 229 Open By Getting Aligned Listen for What's Right (And Why They See It Differently) Assert What's Left Out Be Your Own Process Referee Problem Solve to Create Possibilities Close with Commitment Putting It All Together: A Conversation in Motion 12. Get Going: Five Ways to Take Action 257 Name One Thing Try Small Experiments Ride Out the J Curve Coach Your Coach Invite Them In 13. Pull Together: Feedback in Organizations 291 Acknowledgments 311 Notes on Some Relevant Organizations 319 Notes 323 Road Map 335 |
Sheila Heen
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Douglas Stone
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