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Introduction ix
1. Classical Music Isn't a Thing 1 A Very Biased Overview of 1,400 Years of Music 2. Talent Isn't a Thing, Either 31 Okay, Fine, So It's a Thing, but It's Less of a Thing Than You Think 3. Classical Music Is for Snobs 49 But It's Also for You 4. Conductors Are Assholes 61 And Other Popular Archetypes of the Classical Music Industry 5. Million-Dollar Baby Grands (and Violins) 85 The Literal Price of Excellence 6. Welcome to the Jailyard 103 The Truth About Competition in Classical Music 7. It's Easy to Get Lost 119 Navigating a Composition-and a Career in Classical Music 8. Sometimes There Are Curses 135 Beethoven's Hair, Mozart's Requiem, and Other Superstitions of the Classical Universe 9. They're Not All Symphonies 149 All the Pretty (Kinds of) Pieces 10. Romantic in the Candle-Lined-Hot-Tub Sense of the Word 181 Famous (and Not So Famous) Love Stories of Classical Music 11. Here Comes the Bride 205 The I Dos and I Don'ts of Wedding and Event Music 12. How to Be a Listener 223 How to Hear (and Truly Appreciate) Classical Music Acknowledgments 257 One More Viola Joke 269 Glossary 271 Bibliography 281 Index 283 |
Arianna Warsaw-Fan Rauch