Foreword vii
1. Getting to Know the Change Triangle
What This Book Will Do for You 3
The Story of Me 9
The Change Triangle Basics 15
How Comfortable Are You with Emotions? 29
2. Releasing Core Emotions
Fran's Panic, Anxiety, and Grief 33
You Can Change at Any Age: Neuroscience and Neuroplasticity 51
Experiment: Slowing Down 59
3. Identifying Trauma
Sara's Depression and Navigating Conflict 69
We Are All a Little Traumatized: Small t and Big T Trauma 88
We Are Wired for Connection: The Science of Attachment 96
Experiment: Giving Yourself Compassion 106
Experiment: Self-Parenting 108
4. Core Emotions
Bonnie's Rage 113
Everything You Need to Know About Your Core Emotions 135
Experiment: Noticing Internal Experiences 144
Experiment: Finding Your Core Emotions 149
5. Inhibitory Emotions
Spencer's Social Anxiety 153
Working with Anxiety, Shame, and Guilt 163
Experiment: Calming Anxiety 193
Experiment: Shaming Messages 196
Experiment: The Shoulds You Encounter Daily 199
Experiment: Guilty Feelings 203
The Healing Emotions of Joy, Gratitude, and Pride in the Self 205
Experiment: Joy, Gratitude, and Pride in the Self 210
6. Defenses
Mario's Story: Moving Through Trauma to Peace 217
Defenses 229
Experiment: Noticing Your Defenses 237
7. The Openhearted State
Sara Redux: The Authentic Self and Openhearted State 243
The Self, the Openhearted State, and the C's 251
Experiment: Finding Your C's 258
Experiment: Plotting Yourself on the Change Triangle 261
Experiment: Working the Change Triangle 263
Final Words 267
Acknowledgments 271
Resources 275
Appendix A List of Sensation Words 277
Appendix B List of Emotion Words 281
Bibliography 285
Notes 291