Acknowledgments xi
Introduction xiii
1. Making the Most of Your Thirty-Year Life Bonus 1
An Unexpected Challenge 2
The Need for a New Model 3
New Discoveries about Adult Options and Aging 4
The Alternative to Middle-Aging: Second Growth 9
Six Paradoxical Principles of Second Growth 12
The Dawn of a Third Age 17
Shredding Old Scripts That Block Second Growth 18
How Long Can This Go On? 19
2. Principle One: Balancing Mindful Reflection and Risk Taking 23
The Surprising Appearance of Second Growth 23
Getting Started 26
A Paradox of Mixed Messages 29
Keeping Going 32
Taking the First Paradoxical Step 33
Looking Ahead to a More Abundant Future 44
3. Principle Two: Developing Realistic Optimism 47
Addressing the Dilemma of Optimism and Realism 47
What Realistic Optimism Means 50
Getting a Little Help from Your Friends 52
Gaining Self-Confidence by Asserting What You Want 56
Planning for Purpose 58
Utilizing Detours 62
Growing a Sense of Humor 65
Taking Charge of Your Life 67
Strategies for Realistic Optimism 70
4. Principle Three: Creating a Positive Third-Age Identity 73
Why Think About Identity at This Late Date? 73
Detecting and Dislodging the Stereotypes of Age 76
Building a Post-Institutional Identity 79
Letting Your Youth Catch Up with Your Age 83
The Paradox of Growing Older/Growing Young 87
The Paradox of Gender 92
5. Principle Four: Redefining Our Work/Balancing Work and Play 97
Coping with Permanent White Water 97
Recovering a Sense of Meaningful Work and Play 99
Finding Work Not Listed in the Classified Ads 101
Striking a Balance Between Work and Play 118
Trading In Retirement for a Better Option 122
Finding Meaning in the Paradox of Work and Play 127
6. Principle Five: Balancing Personal Freedom and Intimacy 129
Liberation One More Time--Greater Freedom after Fifty 129
A New Kind of Marriage--Intimate Interdependence 138
Freedom and Friendships 146
7. Principle Six: Building a More Caring Life 151
Increasing Our Capacity to Care 151
Finding Meaning Through an Expansion of Caring 153
A Caregiver Learns Self-Care 156
Lust for Life: Caring for Optimal Physical Health 163
Caring for Our Material Well-Being 166
Caring for the Earth: An Ecological Spirituality 166
Leading to a More Caring Society 168
8. It's Your Life After All: Stepping into More Purposeful Living 171
Designing Your Own Living Mosaic 171
Creating a Balance among Multiple Commitments 173
The Invitation of a Lifetime 196
Afterword: On the Meaning of the Third Age 199
An Era of Social Discontinuity 199
Creating an Objective Correlative within the Third Age 202
Notes 207
Index 229